Battles

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We all thrive on ambition. We are surrounded by it, and we are inspired by it. It is a quality that is extremely desirable. But like anything, ambition has its limitations. 

When I was younger, I had a friend who inadvertently taught me that we are not all equal. From her hairstyles to her intelligence, she overshadowed me. But I never would have realized this if someone hadn’t pointed it out. Repeatedly. As I started growing up, I became so jealous that it was painful. I tried to change myself, I tried to look like everyone else, and I tried to copy what my friends did in hopes that I would magically become a better person. And when I failed (to become someone I wasn’t), it hurt worse than overly dramatic teenage heartbreak. 

It wasn’t until I graduated that I learned how much this mindset had taken over my life. My friend wasn’t the only one who outshone me. Suddenly, it was acquaintances and strangers that had things I wanted. I envied every single one of them. Their bodies, their smiles, the way the carried themselves; it was all better than what I had. 

At the time, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be like everyone else. I didn’t get why I never looked as good as others, or why I didn’t always fit in. Eventually, I became fed up with disliking myself so much. I realized that I had become so consumed with changing myself that I didn’t know what it felt like to accept myself. There are some things I can’t change, and maybe that’s not such a bad thing. So I made some mental adjustments, and I actually got to know myself.

It is your choice to let yourself win. It is in your power to reject thoughts of inadequacy about yourself. It is in your control to improve yourself. And it is entirely up to you to decide when you are going to tell yourself that you love what you have and believe it. 

It is far too easy to cross the line between being driven and sabotaging yourself. You will be challenged, and you will face defeat. But if you allow yourself to sweat the small stuff, you will lose sight of the bigger picture. Pick your battles. Learn from your mistakes, be humble in your accomplishments, and move forward.

Thanks for reading! :)

Always,
Steph

Let me see you swoon. @timefliesmusic @artisticlyanne #timeflies #sanfrancisco  (at San Francisco State University)

Let me see you swoon. @timefliesmusic @artisticlyanne #timeflies #sanfrancisco (at San Francisco State University)

Chocolate (Acoustic) - The 1975

She Keeps Me Warm - Mary Lambert

"We were born to run, Cali here we come." #mkto #sanjose (at City National Civic)

"We were born to run, Cali here we come." #mkto #sanjose (at City National Civic)

Royals (Cover) - MKTO

Run

I woke up to the rain today
Wondering why
We shorten words
To make them easier to say
And if we find something golden
How do we know
Which parts we should keep
And which ones we should let go

When do we stop
Running away
From things that are good
Towards things that won’t stay
Thinking we’re safe
When we’ll never be
Knowing it’s easier
To leave

You kiss my scars
And I count to ten
Waiting for the ink
To run out of this pen
We’ll crash
And get lost in the flames
And rise to the stars
Because we didn’t know what to say

When do we stop
Running away
From things that are good
Towards things that won’t stay
Thinking we’re safe
When we’ll never be
Knowing it’s easier
To leave

We have to keep our eyes open
We have to keep our minds open
We have to keep our hearts open

When do we stop
Running away
From things that are good
Towards things that won’t stay
Thinking we’re safe
When we’ll never be
Knowing it’s easier
To leave

But what if I don’t want to leave?

03.01.14 | Brian Dublin | Sabrina Mai | Tim Atlas | Exclamation 2014 | Evergreen Valley High School

03.01.14 | Brian Dublin | Sabrina Mai | Tim Atlas | Exclamation 2014 | Evergreen Valley High School

he said, she said

mattpana:

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[PART 1: PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE]

I’m an all-or-nothing kind of guy.

A slave to my whims. Going out on a limb, just to show that I have a little heart.

It all began in high school. Wanting to set the bar high. Cause afterall, this girl would school me. First kisses. First dates….

He Said She Said: Part 1 - Putting Yourself Out There

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We weigh the pros and cons. We list and categorize reasons to play it safe. We ask for opinions to help form our own. And sometimes we settle with the assumption that one option is better than the other because it’s simpler. We choose the easy way out because what we are facing doesn’t seem worth it. Sometimes we just walk away.

Until we find something worth seeing through.

And I think I’ve found something worth seeing through.

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Back in high school, I remember sitting in an unfamiliar classroom, waiting to hear some guy talk for an hour about his job. It was “career day.” I had signed up for a presentation about music or art, and actually, I wasn’t completely let down. I don’t remember exactly who the man was, and I don’t recall what he did for a living. But, I do remember the story he told us.

He was backstage at a concert, and as the band was coming off stage, he ran into their drummer. This man stopped the drummer, complimented him, and mentioned that he had always wanted to play the drums. The drummer looked at him and said, “no you don’t. If you really wanted to be a drummer, you would be a drummer.”

That story has always stuck with me. And up until recently, I had only applied this to the pursuit of my ideal career. But this could apply to anything. If there is something you really want, you will go for it. All out.

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I’ve always considered myself to be an introvert and not really one to take chances. I have a tendency to keep quiet to keep others happy. I’m definitely guilty of playing it safe, except when it comes to my professional future. I’m not afraid to reach out to people I look up to in order to work with them. And when I began taking on projects simply because the intangible results were enough of a reward, I realized that this particular path was a labor of love, but it’s worth it.  

This was one of the only aspects of my life that I considered to be worth the risk and the effort. Maybe it’s just because I haven’t come across very many things worth sticking with…until now.

If you find something worth it all, make the jump. Take the leap. The truth of the matter is, even though it’s scary and easier said than done, who knows if or when we’ll come across something this great again? When you stop fearing what could go wrong, you find the undeniable. You find something worth fighting for. Don’t let yourself let it go.

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