— Lady Gaga
We all thrive on ambition. We are surrounded by it, and we are inspired by it. It is a quality that is extremely desirable. But like anything, ambition has its limitations.
When I was younger, I had a friend who inadvertently taught me that we are not all equal. From her hairstyles to her intelligence, she overshadowed me. But I never would have realized this if someone hadn’t pointed it out. Repeatedly. As I started growing up, I became so jealous that it was painful. I tried to change myself, I tried to look like everyone else, and I tried to copy what my friends did in hopes that I would magically become a better person. And when I failed (to become someone I wasn’t), it hurt worse than overly dramatic teenage heartbreak.
It wasn’t until I graduated that I learned how much this mindset had taken over my life. My friend wasn’t the only one who outshone me. Suddenly, it was acquaintances and strangers that had things I wanted. I envied every single one of them. Their bodies, their smiles, the way the carried themselves; it was all better than what I had.
At the time, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be like everyone else. I didn’t get why I never looked as good as others, or why I didn’t always fit in. Eventually, I became fed up with disliking myself so much. I realized that I had become so consumed with changing myself that I didn’t know what it felt like to accept myself. There are some things I can’t change, and maybe that’s not such a bad thing. So I made some mental adjustments, and I actually got to know myself.
It is your choice to let yourself win. It is in your power to reject thoughts of inadequacy about yourself. It is in your control to improve yourself. And it is entirely up to you to decide when you are going to tell yourself that you love what you have and believe it.
It is far too easy to cross the line between being driven and sabotaging yourself. You will be challenged, and you will face defeat. But if you allow yourself to sweat the small stuff, you will lose sight of the bigger picture. Pick your battles. Learn from your mistakes, be humble in your accomplishments, and move forward.
Thanks for reading! :)